Here’s what I think happened: The female ‘victim’ had
come home from the gym... Ravenous after a vigorous workout, the muffins were
so tempting that she sat down and scoffed the whole dozen by herself... She
then concocted the story to save face because she knew the muffins she’d
promised the family for supper had been the last in the local foodstore...
 |
| Hey! The thief has been here too! |
Samuel Bath Thomas first started producing these
popular little breads at his bakery in New York in 1880, giving rise (no pun
intended) to the idea that they were an American invention. However, he used
his mother’s recipe – which he had brought from England five years earlier – so
he was standing on the shoulders of giants, so to speak.
In 1747, Hannah Glasse’s The Art of Cookery Made Plain
& Easy featured similar yeasted griddle breads. In her recipe, she warns
“don't touch them with a knife, either to spread or cut them open, if you do
they will be as heavy as lead”. She suggests tearing them open with your hands.
If you don’t have asbestos fingers, you could open them up with a fork. This
preserves the very delicate structure of the bread creating a fantastic butter-trap
for those who are fearless in the face of the odd calorie or 5,000. It also creates
a rough surface for incredible toast and a base for Eggs Benedict to die for.
If the ‘thief’ happens to be reading, below is my recipe
for Buttermilk Muffins. They are so easy and use store cupboard ingredients.
Perhaps it will save such desperate measures in future...
For a dozen or so irresistible muffins (of the English
sort) you will need...
500g strong
white flour
1 x 7g sachet
of fast-acting dried yeast
1 teaspoon fine
table salt
250mls
buttermilk, tepid (you may need slightly buttermilk more if the flour is very
absorbent)
1 teaspoon
runny honey
A little corn
meal or plain flour for dusting
A little
sunflower oil to grease the frying pan
In a large mixing bowl (or stand mixer),
mix together the flour, yeast and salt. In a separate container, mix the tepid
buttermilk and honey before adding to the flour mixture. Mix until the dough
comes together in a smooth ball that leaves the bowl clean. If any dry flour
remains, add a little more buttermilk. If using a stand mixer, mix for about 2
minutes with the dough hook. If making this by hand, turn the ball of dough
onto a lightly floured work surface and knead for about 2 minutes. (To knead,
fold the dough in half, then holding it in place with one hand, use the heel of
the other hand to stretch the dough away from you, along the floured surface.
Again fold it, rotate it about 1/8th of a turn and again press it away from you
with the heel of your hand. Repeat for about 2 minutes knowing you are giving
your arms a great workout which will enable you to have second helpings...)
Return the dough to the bowl. Cover the bowl with cling film and leave in a
warm, draught-free place to rise until doubled in size (about an hour and a
half). You can leave this to rise overnight in the fridge if you prefer, where
it will rise much slower. The key is that the dough doubles in size.
Roll the risen dough out to a thickness of
about 1.5cm. Sprinkle a tray or baking sheet with corn meal or a little flour
to prevent the muffins from sticking. Using a 6cm (3 inch) circular cutter, cut
out as rounds of dough. You can knead together any scraps if necessary, re-roll
and cut. However, try and cut your dough so that you get most of the muffins
from the virgin dough as re-rolled scraps tend to form slightly misshapen, rustic-looking
muffins. Cover loosely with cling film. Leave to rise again in a warm,
draught-free place for about 30 minutes, or until puffed up and doubled in
height.
Now, heat a large frying pan (with a lid)
over a medium heat. Rub it with a little sunflower oil and gently
transfer a batch of muffins to the pan, leaving about 3cms between them. Cover
with the lid.
After about 3 or 4 minutes gently
slide a spatula under the muffins to see if they have browned. If not, continue
cooking and check again after a minute or so. When the bases have browned, gently
turn the muffins over and continue cooking on the other side for about 3 or 4
minutes, or until they too have browned. Transfer to a cooling rack, or, more
likely, to waiting plates.
As Hannah Glasse warns, don’t cut them with
a knife. It makes them ‘claggy’ as the steam condenses on the cold metal. Tear
them open with your hands or ease apart with a fork.
